pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an
optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Sir
It is not because things are difficult that we do not
dare, it is because we do not dare that things are
There are no passengers on spaceship earth. We are all
crew. Marshall McLuhan
Ability is what you're capable of doing...Motivation
determines what you do...Attitude determines how well
you do it. Lou Holtz
Enthusiasm is faith set on fire. George Adams
If you always do what you always do, you’ll always get
what you’ve always got
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everybody is thinking alike then somebody isn’t
thinking. George Patton
It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in
imitation. Herman Melville
consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking
what nobody has thought. Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
is more important than knowledge. Albert Einstein
I have no
special gift. I am only passionately curious. Albert
is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing
which ones to keep. Scott Adams
is the power to connect the seemingly unconnected.
difference between fiction and reality is that fiction
has to make sense. Tom Clancy
secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your
sources. Albert Einstein
To live a
creative life, we must first lose the fear of being
wrong. Joseph Chilton Pearce
walks in another's tracks leaves no footprints.
always do what you always do, you’ll always get what
you’ve always got.
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beings are the only creatures that allow their children
to come back home. Bill Cosby
My Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine.
Perhaps that is why several members of our family died
of tuberculosis. Jack Handy
wife and I were happy for twenty years – then we met.
still miss my ex-wife/husband, but my aim is getting
is/are nature’s way of stopping people from fighting
know my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster
and a hair dryer.
family was in iron and steel – my mother ironed and my
man had his credit card stolen but he decided not to
report it because the thief was spending less than his
of relativity: The more relatives are visiting you, the
slower the time passes.
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trouble with our times is that the future is not what it
used to be. Paul Valery
riches consist not in the extent of my possessions, but
in the fewness of my wants. J. Brotherton
is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to
do with struggling and enduring and accomplishing.
say a person needs just three things to be truly happy
in this world: someone to love, something to do, and
something to hope for. Tom Bodett
is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is
not possible to find it elsewhere. Agnes Repplier
is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of
travelling. Margaret Lee Runbeck
happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you
have; it depends solely on what you think. Dale Carnegie
really happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery
when on a detour.
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not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are
winners before the game even starts. Addison Walker
you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret
are the things you didn't do. Zachary Scott
you can imagine is real. Picasso
is now proved was once only imagined. William Blake
lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters
compared to what lies within us. Ralph Waldo Emerson
I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile...
initially scared me to death. Betty Bender
doubt that a small group of committed citizens can
change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever
has. Margaret Mead
candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves. Edmund
only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good
men to do nothing. Edmund Burke
character is what we do when we think no one is looking.
H. Jackson Browne
you laugh at poor people you insult the God who made
them. Proverbs 17.5
is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that
something else is more important than fear. Ambrose
is the darkroom where negatives develop. Max Walker
has been my experience that folks who have no vices have
very few virtues. Abraham Lincoln
we must decide is how we are valuable rather than how
valuable we are. Edgar Z. Friedenberg
of attitude becomes weakness of character. Albert
and success don't change people; they merely amplify
what is already there. Will Smith
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knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing. And
in knowing that you know nothing, that makes you the
smartest of all. Socrates
times of change, the learners will inherit the Earth.
While the learned find themselves beautifully equipped
to deal with a world that no longer exists. Eric Hoffer
three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection,
which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is
easiest; and third by experience, which is the
purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.
Malcolm S. Forbes
is not compulsory... neither is survival. W. Edwards
simplest questions are the hardest to answer. Northrop
fundamental cause of trouble in the world today is that
the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full
of doubt. Bertrand Russell
person who does not read good books has no advantage
over the person who cannot read them. Mark Twain
hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I
understand. Chinese Proverb
search for truth is more precious than its possession.
illiterate of the 21st century will not be
those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot
learn, unlearn and relearn. Alvin Toffler
verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on. Samuel
court, the defendant puts his/her life in the hands of
twelve people too stupid to get off jury duty.
jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has
the best lawyer.
of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
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is not the main thing influencing others. It is the only
thing. Albert Schweitzer
become the change we want to see. Gandhi
people as they are, and they will remain that way. Treat
them as they are already what they can be, and you help
them become what they are capable of becoming. Goethe
you’ve got to create what you want to be a part of.
moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the
right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and
the worst thing you can do is nothing. Theodore
is doing things right; leadership is doing the right
things. Peter Drucker
great men who make everyone feel small. The real great
man is the man who makes every man feel great. G K
don't know where you're going, any road will take you
there. Doug Horton
does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is
favourable. Seneca (the Younger)
quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they
set for themselves. Ray
leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone.
You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with
it. Elaine Agather
person who knows how will always have a job. The
person who knows why will always be that
person’s boss. Diane Ravitch
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can’t buy friends, but it does get you a better class
of enemy. Spike Milligan
Money does not bring happiness – but it sure makes
being miserable a lot more pleasant.
The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be
worth if you lost all your money.
Whoever said that money can’t buy happiness doesn’t
know where to shop.
A bank manager is someone who lends you an umbrella when
the sun is shining, and who asks for it back when it
starts to rain.
I was so poor I had to join the army to get a haircut.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable but
more useful than a life spent
doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw
Progress always involves risk; you can't steal second base and
keep your foot on first base. Frederick Wilcox
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
Robert F Kennedy
Why not go out on a limb? That's where the fruit is. Will Rogers
We'll do all right if we can capitalize on our mistakes. Mickey
The person who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
E. J. Phelps
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the
things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off
the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade
winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain
Sing like you know the words; dance like no one's watching; and
love like it's never going to hurt.
Sex without love
is an empty, meaningless experience – but of all the empty,
meaningless experiences it’s one of the best. Woody Allen
My brain: it’s my second favourite organ. Woody Allen
According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of
other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of
course, men are just grateful. Jay Leno
If it weren’t for pickpockets, I’d have no sex life at all.
My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what
she’s reading. Emo Philips
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. Billy
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake the whole
relationship. Jimmy Shubert
believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy. Tom Clancy
You know that 'look' women get when they want sex? Me
neither. Steve Martin
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a
good partner, you'd better have a good hand. Woody Allen
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on
Saturday night. Woody Allen
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and
only enough blood to run one at a time. Robin Williams
It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of
getting married. Matt Barry
Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog
vacation at the taxidermist. Camille Paglia
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men
think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody
naked'. Jerry Seinfeld
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he
lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it
is. Barbara Bush
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a
rope. George Burns
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual
arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the
Mercedes-Benz 380SL. Lynn Lavner
age, being good in bed means not hogging the doona. Mark
Dancing – the perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
When a girl says no, she really means yes – but not with you.
The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because
the average man can see better than he can think.
Why do men always have a nickname for their penis? Because they
don’t want all their decisions made by a complete stranger.
The communicator's job is to make the
interesting. John Howze
If you have
an important point to make, don’t try to be subtle or clever.
Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it
again. Then hit it a third time – a tremendous whack! Winston
If you want me to speak for an hour – give me a moment’s
notice; if you want me to speak for half an hour, give me a
day’s notice; if you want me to speak for five minutes –
give me a week. Winston Churchill
All the great speakers were bad speakers at first. Ralph Waldo
The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two
words when one will do. Thomas Jefferson
The voice is a second signature. R. I. Fitzhenry
Nothing is said that has not been said before. Terence (185-159
Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much.
They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how
you made them feel. Carl W. Buechner
Be sincere; be brief; be seated. Franklin D. Roosevelt
People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much
you care. John Powell
If they haven’t heard it before, it’s original. Gene Fowler
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good
thing to do and always a clever thing to say. Will Durant
Cum tacent, clamant. When they are silent, they shout. Cicero
Many a pair of curious ears had been lured by the well-timed
pause. Li Ang
I deal with the obvious. I present, reiterate and glorify the
obvious -- because the obvious is what people need to be told.
I do not object to people looking at their watches while I am
talking. but I do strongly object when they start shaking them
to make certain they are still going. Lord Birkett
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as
you please. Mark Twain
None have a finer command of language than those who keep their
mouths shut. Sam Rayburn
Research shows that approximately 40% of people are more scared
of public speaking than they are of death. This means that at
the average funeral 40% of those present would rather be in the
give the eulogy. Jerry Seinfeld.
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn
and quoted. Fred Allen
People believe stories more readily than numbers/statistics. The
hearer processes stories in three ways: intellectually,
emotionally, and visually (slides, speaker movements). Start
with a story, then use a statistic or visual to
point. John Howze
The pause is the speaker's exclamation mark. Kevin Ryan
Oratory: The art of making deep noises from the chest sound like
important messages from the brain.
75% of all statistics quoted by speakers…are made up on the
Lines - When your funny line falls flat
just keep telling them and you pick out the ones you
to continue in this serious vein…
another one you may not like.
person is laughing) Would you be kind enough to run
around the room so it looks like everyone is having fun?
can refer to someone that all the audience know) That’s
the last time I’m going to use one of n’s
a Polaroid joke – it takes one minute to get it.
for that overwhelming round of apathetic indifference.
don’t have to be funny all the time – and I just
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Show me a man
with both feet on the ground and I’ll show you a man who
can’t put his pants on. Arthur K Watson
It’s impossible to make anything ‘idiot-proof’ because
idiots are so ingenious. Ron Burns
Some people approach every problem with an open mouth. Adalai
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein
The difference between genius and stupidity is genius has its
limits. Albert Einstein
There are three kinds of people in this world - those who can
count and those who can’t.
Success is never
final. Winston Churchill
Excellence is to do a common thing in an uncommon way. Booker T
Only the mediocre are always at their best. Jean Giraudoux
Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. Napoleon Bonaparte
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and whatever you
hit, call it the target. Ashleigh Brilliant
Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes
nothing. Ralph Waldo Emerson
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success
of those we don't like? Jean Cocteau
If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z; X is
work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut. Albert Einstein
Failure requires no preparation. The Sandman
There are two rules for success – (1) Never tell everything
you know. Roger H. Lincoln
expect to win unless you know why you lose. Benjamin
Press on: nothing in the world can take the place of
perseverance. Talent will not; nothing is more common
than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not;
unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will
not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
Calvin Coolidge (1872 - 1933)
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as
a warning to others.
When all is said and done, the number of people who come to your
funeral will largely be determined by the weather on the day.
A person who trusts no one can't be trusted. Jerome Blattner
We can do no great things, only small things with great love.
The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.
It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be
sometimes cheated than not to trust. Samuel Johnson
There is nothing in the world that someone cannot make a little
worse and sell a little cheaper, and he who considers price only
is that person's lawful prey. John Ruskin
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. Martin
Luther King/Samuel Johnson
What you really value is what you miss, not what you have. Jorge
Love, friendship, respect, do not unite people as much as a
common hatred of something. Anton Chekhov (1860-1904), Russian
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything
that counts can be counted. Albert Einstein
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not.
Keep your head and your heart in the right direction and you
will not have to worry about your feet.
Treat your friends as you do your pictures, place them in their
When a girl
marries, she exchanges the attentions of many for the
inattention of one. Helen Rowland
Marriage: friendship under difficult circumstances. Rose Scott
A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the
same fallacy as the woman who marries a man to reform him.
Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for
a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it
home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never
remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them. Ogden Nash
All marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards
that causes all the problems. Shelley Winters
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering
to take out the trash. Dr. Joyce Brothers
A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the
individuals and in the way they express their love. Pearl Buck
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for
marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. Rita
Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my
children to spend their weekends with? Rita Rudner
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of
temptation with the maximum of opportunity. George Bernard Shaw
Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot
be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always
punishing any one who comes between them. Sydney Smith
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. Fr. Jerome
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup,
whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.
The heart that loves is always young. Greek Proverb
Marriage is for life and the effect of it is for all eternity.
Success in marriage is more than finding the right person; it is
being the right person.
A good marriage is the union of two forgivers.
Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the
ride worthwhile. Franklin P. Jones
Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce,
but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and
disciplined heart is as coals, deep burning, unquenchable. Henry
Love, you know, seeks to make happy rather than to be happy.
Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade. Leo F.
Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot
be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet always
punishing anyone who comes in between them. Sydney Smith
The first duty of love is to listen. Paul Tillich
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin
Marriage is not about two people looking into each other’s
eyes. It’s about them standing side-by-side looking forward
A man needs a wife because sometimes things go wrong that you
can’t blame on your boss or the government.
He/she didn’t realise what a good time was until he/she got
married. And by then it was too late.
Buck’s/Hen’s Night: When you go out and have the fantastic
time that you could be having every night if you weren’t
If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of
giants. Isaac Newton
There is sufficient for the world’s need, but not for the
world’s greed. Gandhi
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are
truly endless. Mother Theresa
It is well to remember that the entire population of the
universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
John Andrew Holmes
Common sense is the collection of all prejudices acquired by age
eighteen. Albert Einstein
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not
simpler. Albert Einstein
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen
or even touched. They must be felt. Helen Keller
People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. Somerset
An empty belly has no ears. African Proverb
It is not the horse that draws the cart, but the oats. Russian
If you knew how little people thought about you – you
wouldn’t worry about what they thought. The Koran
I’ve learned that bigger is not always better, and that going
faster is not necessarily progress.
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
At 20 we worry constantly about what others think of us
At 40 we are less concerned what others think of us
At 60 we don’t care what others think of us
At 80 we realise that they weren’t thinking about us at all
don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis, and I
don’t deserve that either. Jack Benny
Giving money and power to government is like giving
whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. P J O’Rourke
A friend is someone who has the same enemies you have.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no
influence on society. Mark Twain
God is a single parent.
A conference is a gathering of important people who
singly can do nothing, but together can decide that
nothing can be done. Fred Allen
If you are ever giving anyone feedback/advice, be sure
to first ‘walk a mile in their shoes’. That way, if
they don’t like what you say, you’re a mile away and
they haven’t got any shoes.
I lived in such a tough neighborhood you could walk ten
blocks without leaving the scene of the crime.
It’s time to diet if you look across a crowded room
– and you’re the reason it’s crowded.
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
loose fitting clothing. If I had any loose fitting
clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
I was so drunk the other night, I asked the taxi to pick
me up on the corner of ‘Walk’ and ‘Don’t
A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while
the adults are out acting like teenagers.