Alternative Definitions  Life's Unanswerable Questions | Humorous Airline Announcements | You know you're in the 00's when... 
World's Easiest Quiz | Motor Vehicle Accident Excuses | Employee Evaluation Comments | If cars were like computers |
 Office Dares | Signs around the World | Puns | Answers to World's Easiest Quiz
Jokes: A great joke for a toast | Viagra | The Catholics will understand | On the nose | Absent-Minded Driver | Need an expert? | Would you like pepper with that?

Alternative Definitions

Asphalt (n): rectum problem
Avoidable (v): what a bullfighter tries to do
Abdicate (v): to give up any hope of ever having a flat stomach
Coffee (n): a person who is coughed upon
Eyedropper (n): a clumsy ophthalmologist
Lymph (v): to walk with a lisp
Negligent (n): a condition where you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown
Pharmacist (n): a farm helper
Primate (v): removing your spouse from in front of the television
Relief (v): what trees do in spring
Rubberneck (v): what you do to relax your female partner
Shindig (v): what you do when you walk into a piece of low furniture

Life's Unanswerable Questions

If naked aliens landed here, how would we know what bits not to look at?
If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they get it to stick to frypans?
Why is abbreviation a five syllable word?
Why are there five syllables in the word monosyllabic?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why is it when the bank bounces your cheque they charge you more of what they already know you don’t have any of?
Why is inflammable not the opposite of flammable?
What happens if you get scared half to death – twice!
Where would we be without rhetorical questions?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Why do you press harder on a remote control button when you know the battery is dead?
Why is that if you tell some there’s a billion stars in the universe they believe you, but tell them a park bench has just been painted and they will have to touch it to be sure?
Why do irons have a setting called ‘Permanent Press’?
Are people more opposed to fur than leather because it’s easier to harass rich old women than bikers?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
If corn oil comes from corn, peanut oil from peanuts and sunflower oil from sunflowers - where does baby oil come from?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
Why is it that to stop Windows XP, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

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Humorous Airline Announcements

1. "Welcome onboard this flight to Sydney on this lovely Valentine’s Day. To help me with our pre-flight announcement today I have, at the front of the plane, ‘Shy Girl’, in the middle, ‘Fancy Pants’, and, down the back, we have ‘Red Hot Lover’."
2. "We will be dimming the cabin lights for take-off. For those of you who want to continue reading, you will notice above your head are two buttons; one with a light symbol and the other with an attendant symbol. Pressing the first one will turn on your reading light. Unfortunately, pressing the other one will not turn on the flight attendant."
3. "Smoke detectors have been fitted to the toilets and anyone caught smoking in the toilets will be asked to step outside to finish it."
4. "Welcome to Brisbane. Please stay seated until the captain turns off the seat belt sign. Anyone who stands up before then will be asked to stay behind and help us clean the aircraft."
5. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."
6. Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land...it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."
7. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
8. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
9. From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.
10. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
11. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
12. Once on a Southwest flight, the pilot said: We've reached our cruising altitude now, and I'm turning off the seat belt sign. I'm switching to autopilot, too, so I can come back there and visit with all of you for the rest of the flight."
13. From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight..."
14. Heard from the flight attendant on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: "That was quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendants' fault. It was the asphalt!"
15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
16. Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
17. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I as you a question?" "Why no, Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
19. "We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane."
20. "Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately."
21. Pilot: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land... it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."
22. And, after landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
23. As we waited just off the runway for another airliner to cross in front of us, some of the passengers were beginning to retrieve luggage from the overhead bins. The head attendant announced on the intercom: "This aircraft is equipped with a video surveillance system that monitors the cabin during taxiing. Any passengers not remaining in their seats until the aircraft comes to a full and complete stop at the gate will be strip-searched as they leave the aircraft."
24. Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."

1. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
3. You e-mail your mate who works at the desk next to you.
4. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
5. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
6. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally insert a "9" to get an outside line.
7. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
8. Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
9. Your CV is on a disk in your pocket.
10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
11. Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your best jokes.
12. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
13. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
14. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined.
15. Interviewees, despite not having the relevant knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told of the starting salary.
16. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
17. Your supervisor gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the latest features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours boots up.
18. Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in hospital.
19. There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department desperately needs, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
20. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".
21. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
22. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends" It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have seen this list already, but you don't have time to check so you forward it anyway.

Office Dares

ONE-POINT OFFICE DARES
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the bathroom at the time).
3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye".
5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
6) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
7) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
8) While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

THREE-POINTS DARES
9) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
10) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".
11) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
12) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
13) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES
14) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
15) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
16) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
17) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".
18) After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report is on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
19) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
20) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".
21) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".
22) In a colleagues diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".
23) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".
24) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:"Do you hear that?" "What?""Never mind, it's gone now".
25) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".
26) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
27) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
28) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
29) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

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Signs around the World

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.  IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN.  TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOR.

Dry cleaner's, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the grounds of a private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

In a Pumwani maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM

Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE.
IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY.  DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Hotel elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID

Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:
NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION.

Supermarket, Hong Kong:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

From the "Soviet Weekly":
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS.  THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.

In an East African newspaper:
A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.

Hotel, Vienna:
IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS.  WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

In the window on a Swedish furrier:
FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN.

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

In a Swiss mountain inn:
SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

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Puns

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit? They called it the "herd shot 'round the world".

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank - proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

These monks were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the monks the florist felt it was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close.
They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh Mactagart, the roughest, toughest, vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the monks and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: ...Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent Florist Friars.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Answers to the World's Easiest Quiz

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? - 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? - Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut? - Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? - November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? - Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? - Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? - Albert
8) What color is a purple finch? - Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? - New Zealand

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A great joke to lead into a toast...
Eight year old Tessa went to a family wedding with her Grandmother as her parents had a previous engagement and could not attend. After the big event, Tessa’s mother, Betty, was keen to find out how things went.
"How was the wedding, dear?" asked Betty.
"It was great fun, Mum. I had a great time. Mum, what’s fornication?"
Taken aback, Tessa’s mother tried to change the subject.
"Tell me, darling, were there many people you knew there?"
"O, yes – heaps! There was Uncle Jim and Aunt Gloria and Katie and Gordon and lots of others but I can’t remember their names. Mum, what’s fornication?"
Still trying to change the subject, she asked, "Was there lots of food there?"
"Yes, Mum, there were cakes and ice cream and lollies for the kids – Mum, what’s fornication?"
Finally, she decided that she could not ignore this any longer, so she asked, "Where did you hear that word, Tessa?"
"At the wedding. Uncle Jim said –‘fornication (for an occasion) like this we need champagne’."

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Don't read if Viagra jokes offend...
Doris and Bert had been married for forty years. Bert had recently been prescribed Viagra by his doctor.
9.00am Doris says to Bert, "Would you like some breakfast , dear?" 
"No, thanks," he replies, "Since I’ve started taking this Viagra I’ve lost my appetite a bit."
12.30 pm Doris says to Bert, "What about some lunch, darling?" 
"Don’t bother about me," says Bert "I’m not hungry – I think it’s the effect of that Viagra."
6.30 pm Doris says to Bert, "How about I start cooking us some dinner, dear?" 
"Not for me," says Bert "Just don’t seem to have much of an appetite since I started this Viagra."
"That’s fine" says Doris, "But I’m bloody starving – so will you get off me?!"

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The Catholics will understand...
Michael goes to confession and says to the priest, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have to confess to having had sexual relations with a girl from our parish."
"Tell me the name of the girl – was it Betty Regan?" asks Father Kelly.
"I am sorry, Father," said Michael "I cannot tell you the name of the girl."
"My son, this is a very serious sin to which you have confessed. Tell me, the girl, was it Suzy Howard?"
"I’m sorry, Father, I cannot say" said Michael.
"Unless you tell me the name of the girl, I’m going to have to impose a very heavy penance on you; now, tell me, was it Tracey Parton?"
"I cannot say, Father," said Michael.
"In that case," said Father Kelly, "I absolve you of your sins and for your penance, you will say one hundred Our Fathers, two hundred Hail Marys and three hundred Glory be to the Fathers."
Once out of the confessional, Michael is asked by his best friend how he fared.
"Not bad," said Michael, "I got one hundred Our Fathers, two hundred Hail Marys, three hundred Glory be to the Fathers...and three of the best leads I’ve ever had!

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This joke's on the nose...
On a visit to the doctor Mary says "I have this little problem that’s been bothering me. It’s a little embarrassing to talk about. You see, I can’t stop breaking wind – continuously! It’s happened several times since I’ve arrived in your surgery. Nobody would know because they’re completely odorless and silent, but I still want to stop it!"
The doctor gives her a prescription and asks her to call back in a week.
When she does, she’s most upset. "You haven’t helped the problem at all – you’ve made it worse! I’m still farting as much but now they smell terrible!"
"Good" says the doctor, "now that we’ve fixed your sense of smell, we can start on your hearing."

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Absent-minded driver
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful! Hell, said Herman, It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!

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Need an expert?
A poor shepherd in a third-world country was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man from Manhattan, in a Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and Hermes tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his notebook and connected it to a mobile phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his IMac and, after a few minutes, received a response.
Finally, he prints out a 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized colour printer then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1586 sheep."
"That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd. He watched the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.
Then the shepherd says: " If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"
"OK, why not." answered the young man.
"Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd.
"That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you know stuff-all about my business. Now give me back my dog."

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Would you like pepper with that?
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of a plane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose and then shuddered quite violently for 10 or 15  seconds. The man went back to his reading.  A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a
 tissue, gently wiped her nose and shuddered quite violently as before. The man was becoming more and
 more curious about the shuddering.  A few more minutes passed and the woman sneezed one more time. Again she took a tissue, gently wiped her nose and shuddered violently. The man couldn't restrain his curiosity.  He turned to the woman and said, "You've sneezed three times, wiped your nose with a tissue, then shuddered violently! Are you all right?" "I'm sorry if I disturbed you," the woman replied, "I have a rare condition; when I sneeze, I have an orgasm." The man was a little embarrassed but even more curious and said, "I've never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?" The woman looked at him and said, "Pepper."

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Alternative Definitions  Life's Unanswerable Questions | Humorous Airline Announcements | You know you're in the 00's when... 
World's Easiest Quiz | Motor Vehicle Accident Excuses | Employee Evaluation Comments | If cars were like computers |
 Office Dares | Signs around the World | Puns | Answers to World's Easiest Quiz
Jokes: A great joke for a toast | Viagra | The Catholics will understand | On the nose | Absent-Minded Driver | Need an expert? | Would you like pepper with that?

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